


Words We Cannot Say

by Ellemae



Series: when a tree falls in the forest [1]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Disabled Character, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Medical Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-05
Updated: 2017-10-05
Packaged: 2019-01-09 06:09:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12270477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ellemae/pseuds/Ellemae
Summary: Kara starts flying before James can finish his sentence. She can't possibly stand still another moment, not when Cat Grant's alone and unconscious.Nothing, not even the risk of exposing her secret identity, will lessen her desperate need to see for herself that Cat is alive.





	Words We Cannot Say

Words were Cat Grant's weapon, and without them she felt completely defenseless.

She was used to writing, demanding, yelling, cajoling.

She was not used to silence.

But, she had been silent for, Cat glanced at the clock on the crisp white wall, twelve hours so far.

Longer if you counted the time she'd been unconscious.

She wasn't sure how long that had been. She thought they'd probably told her, but her mind was still lagging, and she easily wandered during conversations.

She hated this.

A stray tear rolled down her cheek, her body betraying her once more.

Her hands hung limp at her sides, and try as she might they wouldn't obey her commands to move.

People listened to her when she talked.

But she couldn't talk.

She was trapped.

~

Kara paused for a second outside the hospital room, biting her bottom lip. She wasn't sure about this.

Wasn't sure if Ms. Grant would want her here after all this time.

But when she'd heard the news from James - the shockingly well-protected secret news (honestly James could barely keep a secret to save his life, except for that whole Guardian thing, which actually was pretty impressive if you...). Kara shook her head, she needed to focus.

Cat, she was here for Cat.

When she had finally heard that Ms. Grant was unconscious, Kara's whole world had stilled.

She didn't know why the older woman retained so much power over her.

Kara had cheated a little, used super speed to get to the hospital as soon as she'd heard the news from James, only to overhear the nurses mention that Cat had finally regained consciousness early that day and that they still weren't sure of her faculties.

Hence Kara's current nervous pause in front of Cat's room.

Her need to see the other woman, to alleviate the deep concern thrumming though her veins, made up Kara's mind for her.

She knocked lightly on the door and, after pausing very briefly for an answer she didn't expect, slipped inside.

"Ms. Grant?" Kara asked softly, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear as she approached the hospital bed.

Cat was attached to wires and tubes, but that wasn't the scary thing.

What frightened Kara the most was that Cat didn't look like herself. Normally she held herself in such a precise way, used such extreme expressions on her face, that her opinion was visible to all.

Looking at Cat's face right now, Kara saw absolutely nothing. It was like Cat was one of her canvases devoid of paint.

Kara swallowed, hard.

Cat was staring at her blankly.

But then, Kara heard the most beautiful thing.

She was so attuned to Cat Grant that she had grown accustomed to listening to her heartbeat in all situations. And Cat's heartbeat was loud and steady as she looked at Kara. It had changed tone from when Kara first stepped in the room. Cat's heart was doing its "Kara I need a latte immediately and I'm going to be nasty about it but yes I may vaguely approve of you" beat.

Cat knew who she was, and that meant everything.

Kara's smile softened.

"Hi Cat," she said gently, pulling a chair up to the side of the bed. "I'm so glad you're awake. This really sucks."

Cat made a noise, a grunt of sorts, and it probably wouldn't have been legible to another person, but Kara instantly laughed.

"Yes, yes, I know 'sucks' is a word that is juvenile and demeaning to women."

Kara reached out and carefully touched one of Cat's hands, noticing immediately that Cat was unable to respond. Still, she rested her hand gently on top and hoped it would offer some comfort.

Cat's physical and verbal faculties might be in question, but Kara knew all she needed to know.

She hadn't lost Cat, she was still in there.

~

Cat stared in amazement at Kara. Her former incomparable assistant and current superhero was sitting and gently stroking Cat's hand, and she hadn't run away.

She didn't think that Cat was lost. She'd talked to her like a normal person.

For the first time since she woke up, Cat thought that things might be okay.

Her panic fading slightly she was suddenly hit by a wave of exhaustion and gave in as it tugged her under, lulled to sleep by the slight sensation of Kara's hand.

~

Cat was as unnaturally still in sleep as she had been awake.

Kara had occasionally flown by Cat's penthouse at night, just to reassure herself that all was well with the older woman, and more often than not her eyes had strayed into the bedroom. Cat was not a still sleeper, she moved and mumbled and was often sprawled lengthways across the mattress.

As vibrant asleep as awake.

Or, that was how it had been. Now Cat slept like a statue, periodic changes in heartbeat Kara's only indication that her mind was shifting through dreams.

Still, that was reassurance enough, and Kara found herself lulled to sleep by Cat's heartbeat, reminding her that all was not lost.

~

When Cat woke up she wanted to make a sarcastic comment about how things were looking so much better in the light of day.

Except she still couldn't move. Which was precisely her point.

She felt angry and hurt and, frankly, terrified. It was normally when she would coach her face into a mask, hiding her feelings from her peering minions and fans.

She laughed internally at that.

Her face appeared stuck in a perpetual mask, and her minions and fans were no where to be seen.

Except, her vision dropped to Kara's head, her blonde hair splayed across the stark white hospital sheets. Kara mumbled in her sleep, and Cat's hand itched to run through silken curls.

She wasn't sure what Kara was to her. Hadn't been sure before she'd left Catco. And wasn't any more sure now.

They'd moved beyond mentor/mentee.

Kara woke abruptly, sitting up and giving Cat a warm smile. It was almost as though she'd sensed Cat was awake which, Cat had to admit, wasn't outside the realm of possibility.

"Morning," Kara said, reaching out to awkwardly adjust glasses that weren't there.  
"Oh. Shit," she muttered, finding her glasses on the bed and nervously putting them on.

Cat would've smirked if she could.

Instead, Kara made that impatient huff she sometimes did when Cat pushed her buttons. "I know, Cat, okay, just..."

She trailed off.

~

Cat didn't look any better. But she didn't look worse either, which was something.

Her eyes were the worst part, normally Kara enjoyed staring into Cat's eyes, they were another way to figure out what she was thinking.

Right now her eyes were dead, pupils blown and totally expressionless.

Still. Kara forced herself to look at Cat when she spoke to her, because she was still positive that Cat was trapped inside, and she didn't want to do anything to hurt the older woman.

The door swung open and a doctor entered unannounced.

"Oh," he said abruptly, glancing up from his clipboard. "I didn't realize Ms. Grant had company."

"Regardless," Kara said, standing and crossing her arms, "you should knock in the future."

The doctor looked surprised. "It won't make a difference," he said.

Kara could tell he wasn't being mean, but he was being cruel, and she had heard Cat's heartbeat startle when he had come in unannounced. She could hardly say that though.

"Please. Can you knock next time?"

He shrugged, "fine."

Cat was nervous as he approached the hospital bed, and Kara had a sudden desire to go full Supergirl on the man.

The doctor began adjusting various wires, and rather inelegantly lifted Cat's arm to check the IV.

"Please leave so that I can examine the patient."

Cat's heartbeat went crazy, nerves skyrocketing.

Kara realized suddenly that she was out of her field of vision and approached quickly, crouching down and looking straight at Cat's expressionless face. She simultaneously reached out and rested her hand on Cat's arm where the doctor had harshly grabbed her a moment before. "I'm not going anywhere."

She wasn't meek and mild Kara Danvers when she said it, and Cat seemed to realize that instantly, calming.

The doctor was about to protest, but something in Kara's stance must have made him hesitate.

He continued the exam instead, pulling off Cat's hospital blankets and beginning to lift her gown.

Kara glanced away, embarrassed, and leaned close to Cat's ear, breath brushing against the older woman's cheek. "Don't worry, I'm giving you your privacy, I won't look. But I also won't leave you alone, I promise."

She could feel Cat shaking slightly, whether from nerves or cold Kara couldn't say.

And worst of all, Cat couldn't tell her.

~

His hands were cold and if she had the ability to speak she would have requested another doctor, preferably a female one.

She'd been nervous at first, when he'd asked Kara to leave. Cat didn't entirely know why...Kara would have to leave at some point, she had things to do (far more important life or death things than sitting in a hospital room with a woman who couldn't even talk to her).

Still, she could admit to herself that she was relieved Kara was still here.

~

Seconds after the doctor left the room Cat fell asleep. Awake one moment and passed out the next.

Kara was never more thankful that she had super hearing. Cat's rush to unconsciousness was so sudden, but hearing her heartbeat meant the worst hadn't happened.

And Kara had to admit to herself how devastated she would be if Cat died. Her heart clenched at the thought. She'd known Cat was important to her, had saved her before, but suddenly she was struck by the fact that she couldn't even fathom what she would do if Cat were to pass away.

She needed Cat.

She needed Cat in whatever capacity she could have her. She needed Cat when she was talking a mile a minute. She needed Cat when she was being judgmental. She needed this Cat too, silent and far too human.

 

 


End file.
